"I'm falling too deep, in your arms I'm a creep, I'm weak and cheap, unfold to seek I'm older but I freak, No border when you're with Me and kiss My cheek
You'd be a better brother You, you will be, You, you will be, You'd be a better brother You, you will be but not for me"
Too many times people temporarily replace those who truly love them for instant gratification. While I like "him" so much, and appreciate our late night conversations that turn into early morning good nights I realize he'd probably be a better brother. I'm infatuated with everything he is, not realizing everything he isn't......
Monday, July 28, 2008
My week with Vinnet has finally come to a bitter sweet end. After living a care free week in the depths of bliss he is on his way back to Atlanta. This past week taught me so much about friendship and respect, and all of my new encounters couldn't have come at a better time. I learned what I want from people, and what I will stand for and not stand for. I believe that people are constantly changing, especially young people but for the first time I'm content with what my idea of a good friend is, and should be, and if people cannot and will not live up to my standards for what a friend should be then they wont be my friend. And trust me, I don't ask for much. I only ask for respect, loyalty, and I ask that my friends listen and don't give their opinion if I don't ask. This past week, I've found who I believe to be two new life long friends, and I'm really happy about that.
Sunday, July 27, 2008
Before my day even began I felt trapped. I've been unhappy with my surroundings for some time now. People like me; they like the way I am, they like my personality, but what it all boils down to is the way I look and the way I dress. People are fascinated to know B.Fly, but they never seem to care about the person I am inside, they're more concerned with the exterior. This really pains me, because I'm an open person and I like to share my world with others. There's so much more to me than what I wear, what magazine I write far, who I know, etc. but I realize that my peers don't care who I am, all they care about is how good I make their pictures look when I'm standing next to them. I know that I should not expect people who aren't true to themselves to be true to me, but tonight I reached my ending point with all the fakeness . It saddens me because every time I end up meeting who I think will be a great friend, I always end up with EGG ON MY FACE! And the worst part is I walk away from them, and they beg me to come back. I'm so tired of it. And people wonder why I don't go out to social events anymore unless it's for work. I physically cannot play the role of someone's friend when I'm not. One thing you should know about me is that I keep it all the way REAL, if I don't like you, I will be cordial but you're going to know I don't like you. A lot of times I become passionate about the problems of others who I consider my friends, that's how real I am. I'm humanistic to a fault. I put out all of this positive energy into the universe, especially when it comes to friendships, and in the end it's never recipricol, which is why I turn down party invites and remain reclusive. I can no longer continue to be friends with people who stand for nothing and lie,cheat,and steal; LIE- People lie. They smile in your face, then stab you in the back. (Brutus') CHEAT- People cheat themselves and others by maintaining this vicious cycle of fakeness. STEAL- People steal your trust, manipulate you to believe they're "different", and compromise your spirit. I realize that everyone is not going to like me, and everyone will not be nice to me, so in order to maintain my balance in life I'm cutting of 99.9% of my social network. If I no longer speak to you, and you feel like you're owed a reason why, now you know. There are a total of 6 people in this world that I trust, and to those 6 of you, (you know who you are) I would just like to thank you for being my balance and reason for sanity in an insane world.
Thursday, July 24, 2008
People give themselves way too much credit. And I really don't care if this post ends a friendship. So....I'm on someone's myspace page today (you already know this is stupid if I'm beggining the post talking about myspace) when I see a girl who I thought I knew from somewhere. I guess I didn't know her being that she did not accept my request. LMAO Why didn't she? Who knows, who cares that's neither here nor there but I recieved an instant message from someone that read "Did you request someone on my page today?" I said "Yes" explained that I thought I knew her, though there was really no reason to explain myself, I do what the fuck I want, and he goes on about how he doesn't like when people request people from his page yadda yadda yadda I stopped reading after "Did you request someone from my page" to be honest. I deny AT LEAST 20 friend requests a day, and I very RARELY send requests but if I think I know someone then I'm not reluctant to request and say hello. I say that to say this; people give themselves WAY too much credit. The day you hit someone up discussing friend requests that you recieved on myspace should let you know YOU HAVE NO LIFE.
Monday, July 21, 2008
Have you ever had a wild, steamy love affair with someone that you knew would ultimately end up being just that, and nothing more? Well, I have....not exactly a wild steamy love affair, but a CRAZY mental connection, more like mind sex, and verbal intercourse so to speak. Anyway, I haven't spoken to this person, who we will refer to as "the mystery man in the black mask" lol in almost a year, but the phrase "out of sight, out of mind" holds absolutely no validity in this scenario. I typed the person's name in an instant message last night, shortly after went to sleep, and there he was in my dreams. I woke up this morning, and I immediately sent him a message on myspace that read, "GET OUT OF MY DREAMS." lol if you understood the connection we had, you too would believe that he purposely placed himself in my dreams.
Friday, July 18, 2008
So, I'm in the City today, well I'm in the City everyday because I live in the City. Anyway, I'm walking to the store, and I over hear a woman say "Today, on the Tyra show they were discussing fashion...", and really maybe I shouldn't be so narcissistic but for some reason I just felt like the women were talking about me lol and before I could complete my thought, one of the women yells; "No she don't got a MCM bag! Remember those?!" lol Yes, darling I DO in fact have an MCM bag, and it's REAL. Vintage baby. P.S. Sorry about the blur, I took the pic with my blackberry. :-)
Thursday, July 17, 2008
A girl who is raised in New York City, or moves to New York City can't help but fall in love with fashion, unless of course she's been living under a rock, and in that case she shouldn't be living in NYC, because there are too many things to do than to just live under a rock. I moved to New York City when I was 18 to attend college, my dream was to become a music journalist. My entire angle soon shifted from music to fashion...fashion....FASHION! While I still keep music close at heart, (and like any successful journalist, I can cover ANY topic), a career in the fashion industry seemed highly apropos. I paid my dues to the Source Magazine for a year by lending my gift of writing, and physical work for FREE ( word to the wise; if you don't pay your dues, who's going to pay you?) primarily writing music reviews, interviewing artists and various celebrities, attending press releases, making reservations for the fashion and marketing editors for Olympus fashion week, and other miscellaneous tasks which all provided me with a solid foundation to advance and move forward in the worlds of journalism and fashion. Afterall, I did accomplish my first by line at the tender age of 18. (Fat shouts to the Source for that :-) ) When my time with the Source finally came to a bitter sweet end, I took the summer off, going into my sophomore year of college, and began an internship in the fashion department at Vibe Magazine in the Fall of 2006 under the tutelage of the exceptionally talented fashion director Memsor Kamarake. I'm making this sound REALLY easy, I worked my ass off to acquire those internships. Fast foward a few months, I began interning at Giant Magazine, quickly moved on from there and then I gained my first celebrity client Ryan Leslie who hired me as the stylist for a show he was doing, which consisted of me styling 14 of his dancers. The show was not successful, but the ordeal was a learning experience to say the least. Even when my future in journalism and fashion became reclusive, I continued to study fashion and writing. I currently write for Rap Fanatic Magazine. You're probably thinking, a rap magazine? I thought she wanted to be a fashion journalist, and you're right but I'm working on the fashion spreads at Rap Fanatic in addition to writing for them. :-) In short, I've finally decided to blog about the going ons of my life in fashion and to also, in a way build a non-traditional online portfolio. Additionally, I am embracing my passion for photography again as well, as I have had some formal training in high school. So really, at this point in my life it's about taking all of my gifts that God has blessed me with and figuiring out a way to make them all coincide with one another, and I figuired what better way to do it than to create a blog. Blogging is like reality television; it aint goin' nowhere! :-)